Welcome to the Rest of Your Lives

Here it is. My first ever blog post on what I guess you could call an "official blog." I'm not going to bore you with who I am, because all three of you reading already know this. And I assume this thing has a bio that I'll fill out later. So, with that snazzy introduction, let's do this.

What would be a good subject for a first post in what is going to be the World's Greatest Blog That No One Will Read (WGBTNOWR)? A slice of life? My thoughts on politics? Sports? Pshaw, readers. That's chump change. We here at Catching Kids in the Rye (sweet name, huh?) tackle the big-boy issues. That's why we're going to blow our load here in the first ever post. Today's subject:

THE MEANING OF LIFE.

Now, I'm sure you've been wondering, what does D-Nice (that's what I'll call myself in these posts cause it gives me street cred) think the meaning of life is. Well, stop asking me so many damn questions. This is my forum. But, I sometimes think of this giant issue facing us all. Why the fuck are we here (if you'd like, you could replace the profanity with a word like "crud" or "jayhawk" - I won't mind), and what is our purpose. Well, I have three theories that I would like to explore.

1)Life has no meaning - when you die, you're dead
2)This life is but a start to glorious/terrible things in the afterlife
3)Other

I'll start with, surprise, the first one. When you die, you're dead. That's a pretty damn bleak outlook. Basically, we are no more than ants or pumas. We have our time here in life, and no matter what we do, it ends and we are no more. This freaks the hell out of me. Not because I'm scared to die, but who among us can wrap our minds around NOTHINGNESS? Seriously, what the hell is that? There's GOT to be something, right? I mean, Cory Lidle is flying planes somewhere now, right?

The second option seems absolutely ridiculous. Now, don't call me a blasphemer. But think about it. It's a pretty big leap of faith to think this. Yet - most of us do. Hell, I do. Why? Well, what's the point of all of this if we aren't going somewhere after? It's about closure. It's the reason why Cubs fans think they'll actually win something of significance in the near future. Faith. Blind faith, as it may be. It also places order in society. If there is a belief that, if you do some real bad shit in this life you'll be sodomized by Gorgorth, the giant spiney-penised demon, for the rest of eternity, you might not steal that DVD of My Two Dads: Season One. Likewise, and I know this is cynical, but if you don't think you're going to get to hang out with your great-great grandpa (considering he isn't hanging out with Gorgorth), you might not pick up that old woman's groceries when she plows her cart into a display of Activia Yogurt. We need something to believe in. I need to know that this isn't all for naught, you know?

Finally, other. What a cop-out on my part. But, what if we are living on the fingernail of some giant being? What if we are the sperm cell under the microscope of some unfathomably vast civilization? What if we are just a small galaxy orbiting Mark Mangino? Think about outer space. Can YOU wrap your mind around the idea of infinity? Because, let's not lie, that shit is weird.

So, what is the meaning of life? Hell, I don't know. You just read some pretty pointless stuff. What do you make of it? That, my friends is the meaning of life. Life is what you make of it. If you want to have a good time of it, you can. If you want to be a miserable douchebag, well pal, have fun.

Well, that was enjoyable. A little time-waster that hopefully is fun to read. If you don't like it, I hate you and hope you catch a case of scabies or something.

On to some other ramblings - I got this new Macbook Pro - and it's damn awesome. I can type this on my new couch while my dogs look at me like I'm holding a giant thing of food. I hope Steve Jobs made these bastards lick-proof. I've put like 2000 songs so far on the itunes on this thing. Matter of fact, here are 5 songs at random off my playlist. Prepare to be rocked out and jealous all at once:

1)"Maybe Tomorrow" - The Brian Jonestown Massacre - I downloaded this song with free Pepsistuff points (which is the coolest thing around). It's OK. Kind of a druggy-ish ballad.

2)"Chips Ahoy!" - The Hold Steady - I liked them better last year. Something about dude's voice bothers me now. It's like a drunk Bruce Springsteen.

3)"If You Choose Me" - Bare Jr. - Bare Jr is like my blog - Awesome but obscure and not as popular as they should be. Saw 'em at the Blue Note once. They had a guy playing Mountain Dulcimer.

4)"Juicebox" - The Strokes - I love The Strokes. This song sounds like the Spy Hunter theme song. I have no damn clue why it's called Juicebox. But a line like "Standing in the light field" always rocks it out.

5)"If You Talk Too Much(My Head Will Explode) - People in Planes - I don't know much about this band. But this song is GREAT. And so damn topical, too. Because most of you people talk way to damn much.

Well, I hope you enjoyed our time together. Next time I'll be less on the meaning of life and more on the jokes and sarcasm. I'll leave you with this little piece of advice:

Don't shake hands with Moises Alou.